i just thought this was so amazing.

apparently this is what this girl's (that i follow on tumblr) psychologist told her this today.
''He said that the majority of people live with in a box, and that’s their entire reality. All the see is the inside of the box, and they’re ‘asleep’ to anything else. People that have suffered from some form of mental illness are ‘awake’, because they’ve seen reality outside the box. He said no matter how hard people try to put that person back into the box, they will never fit, because they’ve seen something beyond it all.''


i've never had a mental illness, but i feel like this all the god damn time.

kat.

your biggest mistake.

ellie goulding - your biggest mistake.

hello there! :)
totally have new hair! om-gosh.
well, not THAT new, just a little lottle redder. :) i loves it lots.
it's not very obvious in pictures but here you are anyways.


can i just state i live for ellie goulding? okay cool.

anyways, i saw an awesome panda hat in river island, not to replace my koala hat gus, but just generally to add to my animal hat collection, and ellie goulding has one which is pretty rad, SO I WANT IT. :) way not as cool as the tiger one she wore to T4OTB mind.
it's 12 pound though so i'll have to save up because currently i'm too busy paying for hair dye, friend debts for concerts + wasting money to have noticed my fashion so it's kindof taken a back seat. charity shops ftw next month i think.
+ i really want the playsuit from river island + a denim shirt. grr. + a couple tee's from topman + och is lithe letters 'Kk' on it for my name, which is like 18 quid too. omfg, i need more money. you see, i'd get a job but they all hate me + i'm practically unemployable. + also mommy already gives me 100 a month AND pays my 40 quid phone bill, which is awful coz it shouldn't even be that much! :O oops.?
so basically, i'm skint + moaning AGAIN. what's new scooby doo eh?

blah blah blah. today has been boring, i ran around with puppykins for a bit and stroked my rabbit. *dork*

that's my life, a bore. i'm doing a big fat nothing tomorrow either. i should join the gym i'm a right fatty also. i'm totally joining soon, i need to ask mummy. lardypants.

i love the way no one reads this so i can read what i bloody like. infact, does anyone actually read this? comment if you do kk? i wanna see, i get so much bloody spam. >.<

also i saw shrek 4 yesterday and it was totally rad. FYI, totally recommend. way too hyped about toy story too right?

kat.

lets take life, nice and easssssy!

take me to a higher plane - kate nasssh.

NASHER! :) i love kate nash, my life is complete with her music along with others.

SO OMG, my wall! :O hahaha. yesterday, me and shannen stuck a ton of paper on one of my walls and so now you can draw on my wall, it's pretty bare at the moment, but i'm hoping by christmas pretty much all my friends will have contributed to it, what do you say guys? :)the wall so far. :) v plain, but it's cool. :D, getting there. :D
created 12th July 2010.

in other news, me and the akers went on a picnic yesterday to the beach, t'was fun but we got too hot so we came home again and made the wall, after buying a mint milkshake at cafe nero. :o)

tomorrow i'm going to paolo! :D can't wait. i'll let you know how it is. :D

and how do i get rid of my korean COMMENT SPAM? -.-

talking of koreans, i really love their style.
HAHAHA.

'til tomorrow squishies.

kat.

it's like a got no chance at all.

superman - joe brooks.
afternoon sailors. :)once again kat has been a BAD blogger. :( but it's been a few VERY interesting events so, i thought that i would blog about them, considering this way i will be able to remember them always. :)
OCEANFEST'10 along with being a bad blogger i'm also awful when it comes to photography. so i never got ANY photo's of oceanfest, although there are some on their faithful website! :)kat + shan! :)
Broooooks, so HOT! :)
the headline act : magic numbers! 'she don't love me like youuuuu!' - katshan REMIX. ;) haha.


BEACH + SMILEY'S '10
originally supposed to be a beach trip for everyone, not so many people could turn up short notice, so long and behold the trip that came about, and imo was SO much better anyways. :)
the reason i have ears is because gus, my new hat from oceanfest, insisted on coming with me. :)

wayfarer pub, instow. :) smiles char kat + shan. :) sam hadn't arrived yet. :)

was an all round AMAZING time, i don't think i've laughed so much in this long, thanks guys, for a BRILLIANT night. :) JUST DANCE hahahhaa. 'what is this?' 'SPICE GIRLS' 'i'm not SHIMMYING' hahahaha. :) and the jellyfish beach, made me feel sick and crusty. ;)

T4OTB
the crowd when we arrived wasn't EVEN funny, but i loved the atmosphere anyways, so i was willing for the wait. i've never been to t4 before so i guess i wasn't sure what to expect. it was also hard for us to see EVERYTHING because there was SO much we didn't, but apart from that, me and my trusty bestest friend lauren, made our way through the crowds, to the WONDERFUL festival.
the wonderful pixie lott!
the line up included : pixie lott, ellie goulding, jason derrruloooo (which i always have to sing now?), jls, alexandra burke, plan b, example - both i didn't get to see. :(, n dubz, tinchy stryyyyder, taio cruzz, chipmunk, kids in glass houses, diana vickers, NEED I GO ON?!

it was a LOVERLY day and i enjoyed every minute. more pictures on my facebook.

PROM'10 + AFTER PARTY.
i LOVED this night, it really was HILARIOUS, and lovely, if maybe a bit overrun. :) was lovely to see everyone again, and looking so beautiful too. :)

the only one's doing the macarena? haha.

my FAVOURITE people!

what a lovely night we all had, and a lovely way to end school. i'll miss you all..

SO THIS WEEK!
still to come are days out with friends + a visit to see mr paolo nutini at the eden project, i couldn't BE more excited. :)

goodbye for now. :)

kat.

say what you need to say.

say - john mayer.

aaahh well. tbh, i'm alright really. not much to complain about today. gahaa.
john mayer, jack johnson, gavin degraw getting me through my exams tbh. :) soo many! can't wait until oceanfest as a light relief. :) so exciting, if only we SORTED OUT THE CAMPING.
hrmph. i think my favourite thing about looking forward to college is meeting new people. although i love everyone so much, i feel out of place a lot of times. i'm a jagged jigsaw puzzle methinks. :) different sides of me fit diff places. :)

kat.

maybe, i would disappear without you.

pretty eyes - jason reeves.

the blog is back.

not sure why, just had the urge.

okay, so the lowdown is, i'm DYING of stress right now. i actually am bricking it for tomorrow. everyone seems so clever, and confident. everyone seems like they're saying they've done nothing, but they're so calm, which means they must have, right? i'm so scared. :/
i guess i don't need maths or anything, but not even just maths, EVERYTHING is shitting me out about these upcoming two weeks. and i'm stupid stupid stupid to have wasted this week not doing ANY revision. i'm going to have to get my head down foreals now. there's not another option, it's only work that's going to get me through these, not losing touch, not now.

kat.

she's my best friend.

what even is a best friend?
people say it's the person who you lean on when you're sad, or someone who's 'there for you through thick and thin'. i don't think it's any of those.
the dictionary says:

Best friend (or close friend): a person(s) with whom someone shares extremely strong interpersonal ties with as a friend.

yeah. i guess so. but i don't agree with that either.

i don't think that you can actually know what a best friend really is, until you have one. until you know that this one person literally is all you need to get by, and that aslong as they've got your back, everything really is.. easy.

so what happens when a 'best' friend, loses it's 'best', what happens when even 'friend' becomes faint and all you have to reflect on is memories? what happens when you can no longer write your own memories, so you just focus on one's you had in the past?

i've never been very good at talking in person and getting my words out how i want to. so i guess this outlet is my easiest - writing. it's what i'm best at afterall.

when your 'best' friend starts to fade. the answer is this. YOU FUCKING draw over the fucking faded line with your NEW MEMORIES, and you type BEST back in with CAPITAL LETTERS. that's what you do.

lauren, this is my way, of saying that no matter WHERE i am, WHAT i'm doing, or WHO i'm with, you'll still always come first, and i hope i will to. coz i'm your best friend.

this is to lauren.
she's my best friend.

leavers books + old friends.

ohno. we're leaving.

this was the thought that hit me today.
somehow, in the whole leavers assemblies, leavers books, leavers forms etc etc, i forgot what the word LEAVER actually meant. i mean, i'm so pent up hating school atm and being in such a giant grudge i'm not sure i really realise that we're going. like.. foreal. we're GOING.
it's strange, to think in 22 days, i may not see a very large proportion of my year ever again, except of course, in exams. and of course the odd passer by at college.
i'm going to miss it. the class of 2010. i'm gonna miss them all, even the ones that drive me up the wall. :D
there's those friends i'm not worried about leaving, because there'll never be a goodbye. the friends i know that'll always be there. then there's the friends i'll miss, but will adjust to because i never really knew them - a shame in itself. but then there's this group of friends that i'll miss the most. not the closest, just people that i love, that i know probably will be so caught up, we won't arrange to meet or anything. and even if we do, i think i'll miss the school and lesson environment the most. :(

so what're we to do but just wait it out? shame really, that i'm so eager, somehow a little part of me wished i would miss it more. i'm a little bit more sad that i probably.. won't.

kat.

simple times

i loooove joshua radin.

gaah speaking german mock exam tomorrow. the real one is only a week away too. and PE moderation, AND then of course a tonne more exams.

borrrrre.
cinema tomorrow though. happy clappy birthday jessica. i love you. you won't read this. but oh well, thought that counts.
although i'm SKINT. and that makes me angwy. :(

:D loving life other than that..

kat.

because i'm forever lost.

forever lost - the magic numbers.

nahhhh! school tomorrow. *sad*.
oh welll. you see, i wouldn't be overly bothered. but i am. why? because my freaking german oral mock exam is on wednesday. and we don't like those because they are big and scary. :o( haha..
i love ellie goulding. just gonna point that out as i'm listening to her songs.

so my second post since i started this hole 'lets start the blog again' movement.
i haven't much to say i must say. too much exam things buzzing through my head. BAHA i wish, not really. i'm just boring ;)

back to school tomorrow. but as my friend bry's status says, it is only the beginning of the end, as there is little to no school left now, only exam practice for 6 or so weeks, then study leave and school for what? a month? lovely.

so the music title is because magic numbers are so lovely headlining oceanfest this year! this, of course is nothing like the 'YAY' that came with jason mraz. however, it IS a good band, and i'm looking forward to hearing more of them. however, opening for them, or also on the same stage, not sure yet, is JOSHUA RADIN, and i have to say i am a VERY bg joshua radin fan so that's good. :)

well, that's all from me for now. :o)

if you haven't already, listen to all artists mentioned here. especially ellie goulding, she's AMAZING. afterall, she has won a brit before her career has even begun. :o

kat.

everybody stopped.

blogging, that is. so what a better idea than to restart? hello blogspot. i'm back, yes, me. why? because i have things to write. when? now.

so wow. it's been a while. my life in short has been simple. simple happiness, simple fun, simply shit. whatever simple can be, it's been it. but this blog is rarely about what's new, and more what's happened or what i've observed.

i'm just going to state, putting anything about my recent trip to auchwitz in words would be impossible unless you've been there. but to deem something as completely undescribable is 'nuff said methinks. so just go there, or read another review, because i don't think i'd even be able to try to write one that does any justice to it.

i've experienced a lot in the last few weeks. i remember around this time last year, every blog, post or secret was about finding myself. a year on and i'm not really sure that i have. but i've atleas trealised i don't need to anymore. because if i spend my whole life trying to find that, there'll be no time living it. so hello, it's me, i'm kat, and i'm suitabley incomplete.

most importantly, i'm back. so hi, hello, bonjour.

kat.

hey, soul sister.

you know the song. :)

wow. so it appears no one blogs anymore! whatever shall we do? i know, blog? :D
okay so. woah. what isn't there to talk about. i don't think i've ever been so desperate to get out and go somewhere. everything here is eating me alive. i just want to leave. i swear, i'm not going to last these last few months of school without going crazy. it's tedious and HORRIBLE.
the only travelling i do experience seems to be on the train home. home being the annoying word. coz that's where i'll end up. you travel for half an hour, and yous ee the country, and just as you think you're gonna get somewhere you have to get off because it's your stop. then you're driven back home, where everything starts again in just a matter of hours.
i've been tempted just to stay on the trian. to keep going. buy a ticket somewhere. anywhere. never happens. the guts are there, but the willpower isn't.

basically, life is tedious. i'm fed up, and i feel so unconfident lately. but who cares? if you're you, then everythings okay. :)

lots of love,

kat.

blogging.

29th january 2010.

today i became iller, captained a hockey team, won a hockey match, lost 3 hockey matches, let my best friend down, took a posh train, cried, laughed, smiled, realised my mum is the best person on my planet, realised i really miss my family, realised who my true friends are, decided to stop being horrible about everyone because they're all amazing people, and played guitar.

today was an average day.

right now i am writing a song. i don't know what the lyrics or the music is yet. because i'm not writing it down. (so not really writing a song tbh)

i'm happy. :) i think. i mean, yeah, i'm starting to think that i'm drifting from my closest friends, i'm a let down and an all round 'gets everything wrong all the time' person, but i'm happy. :)

i really like trains. :)
i decided this on the way home. the reason being when i'm on a train i feel like i'm floating. because i can't see the track and when the windows are really clean i put my head against the glass and it feels like i am just drifting through the trees. i also like trains because they feel like you're seeing life from the inside, not the outside. like instead of taking the windy roads you just dart straight through the middle but you aren't allowed to see where it takes you because before you know it you have to get off. like they're telling you that shortcuts never lead anywhere and you may see something for a moment, but you will have to take the long road to be able to make anything of what the moment meant..

i want to write. that's all i care about now.
i want to write and then get into uni, and then write even more.
and then get a job and write again. :)

hello by the way. i forgot to mention i'm blogging. so erm.. i'm blogging. :)

kat.

all of your life you've gone your own way, so give me this chance, and i'll go mine..

title: proud - matthew thomas

i haven't blogged in a while. and i don't expect many to still be checking whether i have. which i sprobably why i've chosen to blog here and not my tumblr.

i'm sick.
i don't know why, and i don't know what it is. but it won't go away, and for that i hate my body at the moment. :(
i wish it would go away. it's so annoying.

i guess there are times in your life where you wish you knew, what the heck was going on i mean. but you just don't. this is one of those times.
then there's those times where you wonde rwhat the heck you've done to deserve it. this is one of those times too.
and then, there's those times when you realise who is really there, and who offers their support, but really gives nothing.
there are the times when you have to fight. because walking away doesn't prove fast enough, and running means retracing tracks. so when forward is the only direction, and there's a giant barrier in the way, do you turn around and walk backwards, or do you break the barrier no matter how long and how hard it is?

in other news. happy birthday daddy. :) i love you. you've always shown me the light, even when your own began to dim. i'm glad to call myself your daughter, even after everything we've been through.

love hugs + barriers that are years old,

kat.

two thousand and ten.

woah. it's 2010! goodbye to the noughties and hello teenies! :D
so i'm SO sorry i haven't blogged in SO long, but i've been so busy and lazy to blog as i've been more on my tumblr :)
so i bet it's not just me that's noticed this WEATHER. i swear it's either snowing, windy, sleeting or raining 99% of the day. o.0 but that's okay, because my school's been shut for like a week longer than it should have been *happy dance*.
only problem is, i'm bored of being at home now. school was open today but the weather meant the effort of me going into school just wasn't worth it. :)
i'll be going in tomorrow though. :)

meanwhile. i have a bubba sister. :D:D very exciting stuff. :) the pictures are on my faceybook if you'd like to see her. :)

anyways, i know this has been so short but i don't have muchies to say. :P

lots of love,

katmunch